“A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.”
Aesop Fables

I commute to work each morning via my state’s transit system. Although there are notable drawbacks to this mode of transportation, the benefits still outweigh the problems. Some of these benefits include:

• Gas savings
• Commuter lane access
• Blog writing (yes, this is when I write them!)
• Rest
• Mental preparation for the day
• Meditation
• Observing the behavior of others

I’d like to focus on the latter benefit of observation. As a mental health professional, I have always been fascinated about human behavior. The smorgasbord of different behaviors and personalities are ripe on a bus for human observation. No, I don’t diagnose people (although I’m sometimes tempted), but it’s not too hard to see the emotional lines on people’s faces and how they are coping with a new or ending day.

Once I get off the bus, I begin walking to work with a crowd of other people. This is when more of the emotional behaviors surface as we are getting closer to our places of employment. Some are talking with violent arm gestures on the cell phone, others are slowly creeping along, while few even make the walk a bit of a footrace (I tend to prefer the latter). There’s a common denominator among all of these styles of walking—everyone is typically looking down at a gray, ugly sidewalk. I encourage you to witness this for yourself. Most people do not make eye contact and are staring down at something pretty dull and boring while missing the opportunity to see the environment and people around them. (This reminds me of taking a vacation to a beautiful place but the kids are too busy watching shows on the built-in television screens. Yes, I have one too….. busted!)

Why am I taking up blog space discussing people’s emotions and behaviors during their commute and how does it relate to stress management? For starters, I want to make the case that most people are unaware that simple actions and habits (e.g. how they carry themselves, their posture, focus, etc.) can increase or decrease stress.

Stress Defined

Before I get started in on the subject of stress, however, let me give the definition of this overly-used, yet often misused term. As I discuss stress, I’m not including any form of “good stress”—just the debilitating type. It is in the field of physics where I find the best definition of how stress actually operates (both in nature, theory, and human beings). Stress is thus defined as a “force or system of forces producing deformation or strain” and “the force acting per unit area.” (Don’t worry! This is the extent of my scientific writing for the day).

I’d like to focus on the word deformation. To deform literally means to distort, disfigure, alter, and to change (usually for the worse). Now bring in the fact that there is an external force or a “system of forces” that are concentrating its energy upon a relatively small area for the sole purpose to take something from its original state and distort and disfigure it. I admit that I was shocked when I first learned how the scientific world defines this term.

Let’s focus on how stress operates upon a substance by using the example of a crucible. A crucible is a special, usually ceramic, container made of material that can withstand temperatures high enough to melt or alter its contents. A crucible can only work, however, if the container is stronger and more resistant than the substances it is designed to hold. When the blaze is started, the contents start this grueling, almost chaotic process of deformation.

Are you starting to see the comparison between how stress operates as a crucible? The circumstances of our lives can’t always be changed and a crucible-like experience will ensue; thus, hopefully refining and changing us into better, stronger, and more capable people. Although circumstances can’t always be helped, the way we respond to these challenges can be. We need to become stronger and more capable, in substance and material, to handle stress so we can withstand the deformation that can easily ensue. I’d like to now go over some specific ways that we can “beat the heat”.

Control Your Breathing

There’s a well-known scene at the beginning of the second Karate Kid movie when Daniel Laruso is stressed out because his girlfriend dumped him after totaling his car. Mr. Miyagi wants to start him on a work project but Daniel can’t concentrate. In an effort to get Daniel back “in focus”, Mr. Miyagi teaches him how to properly breathe (they also do something with their arms but I’m not sure how far you want to go with this)!

Mr. Miyagi taught a very basic principle of stress management. We can literally change chemical processes, lower blood pressure, and decrease heart rate by oxygenating our bodies. When we are stressed, under the gun, and are simply “out of focus” with our bodies, we do something called shallow breathing. Simply put, we are smothering and restricting oxygen to our lungs. If we continue to shallow breathe we can cause a build-up of carbon dioxide (when we inhale we bring in oxygen, when we exhale we void carbon dioxide).

If you are feeling stressed, consider to simply pause a moment, take stock of your breathing patterns, and close your eyes. Take in a deep breath through your nose until you feel your chest rise up towards your chin, and slowly exhale completely. Repeat this exercise 6-8 times while sitting down. Remember, your body can only effectively cope with stress to the degree that you oxygenate it.

Filtering and Prioritizing Stress

In an earlier blog I wrote for the New Start Web site, I shared a bit of wonderful poetry authored by Church and Statesman LeGrande Richards (see blog entitled “Making an Effective Treatment Decision in Crisis”). For the topic of this blog, I see it fitting to share this quote again:

For every worry under the sun
There is a remedy or there is none.
If there is a worry, hurry and find it.
If there is none, never mind it.

The principle that corresponds with this poem is something I call “Weeding the Garden”. As human beings, I’m very comfortable to say that we are not engineered to carry an exorbitant amount of stress and burden on our shoulders. If we choose not to have the burden lifted, then our body takes over and literally forces us to slow down and lighten the load by getting physically and/or emotionally exhausted and ill. Putting the body under this kind of burden is extremely unhealthy and can lead to chronic health problems such as depression, anxiety, and prone to other diseases as prolonged, intense periods of stress and pressure can lead to a compromised immune system.

Thus enters in the principle of Weeding the Garden. We have to sit down and objectively think to ourselves, “What are factors and stressors in my life that I have no control over? What do I have control over? As I suggested in an earlier posting, I find it helpful to draw a line down a piece of paper, labeling one side “control” and the other “no control”. Write down your worries, concerns, and issues you are presently facing. You’ll be amazed what falls under the “no control” category. For the sake of your health and well being, you must begin the process of weeding out the “no control” category from that which occupies and stresses the mind. Concentrate on what can be done, not what can’t. I find it very helpful to engage in this activity with a loved one so they can provide much needed and valuable insight.

The regular comment that often arises when I prescribe this intervention is, “Okay, so I identify those issues that I cannot control, but I am still having problems worrying and stressing over those things. How am I supposed to completely erase these stressors out of my mind?” Although this sounds very contradictory, I simply say to them, “You can’t.” You can’t develop an automatic amnesia to those no-control issues that have been weighing on your mind forever. However, what you can do is stop feeding it. Starving equates to weakening. Starving out stress frees up precious resources in the form of energy that you can allocate to those issues that you do have control over. When you have the ability to act and progress is finally being made, the effects are wonderful as stress begins to finally become more manageable. You cannot erase memory and circumstances but you can reallocate energy resources.

Never Live Your Life in Survival Mode

Human beings have primal, neurological processes that basically operate to keep us alive when threats to our existence are detected. Some call it “survival instincts” or “survival mode”. Whatever you wish to call it, living life in a survival state of any kind is not pleasant. Human beings wish to be comfortable, feel love, purpose, and value, expect security and safety, and be accepted. These are attributes that set us apart as humans and not some other creature in the animal kingdom. We have dreams, aspirations, goals, and can process information more keenly than the smartest of primates. But when survival mode kicks in, the body has only one objective: stay alive! Precious energy goes to select chemical and organic processes such as producing and storing adrenalin in case you need to run from danger. Energy goes to the heart to keep it pumping, the lungs to keep you breathing, etc. This is basic survival and nothing more.

When we live under these circumstances for any given amount of time, other functions of the body are neglected. Let’s take the example of osteoporosis. The body seeks to maintain a fine equilibrium of calcium and Vitamin D, vitamins and minerals that are essential to life. When there is a dearth of these substances, the body’s survival process kicks in and begins removing them from another source—the bones. It’s of secondary significance that removing calcium and Vitamin D from the bones causes brittleness, remember in survival mode the body is trying to maintain life, not healthy bones. Day-to-day survival is an unhealthy and dangerous way to live.

So, how do we stop merely surviving and start actually living? I’d like to prescribe a cognitive behavioral intervention that is in the family of meditation. As breathing is getting in touch with your body, meditation is getting in touch with your mind and soul (yes, we all have a soul—I won’t go into that discussion today). The only thing different is that you don’t find a quiet place and begin to reflect. You actually begin this intervention at the very moment you feel that stress is getting out of control. It’s called the STOP technique and it works the same way as taking an anti-anxiety prescription. Obviously it doesn’t stop the source of the stress but it does change the way you are reacting to it. STOP is an acronym that stands for:

S – STOP
T – THINK/THOUGHTS
O – OPTIONS
P – PLAN

Whenever one starts experiencing depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etc., there’s usually a physical sensation that you can actually feel that precedes experiencing any of these problems. In terms of the topic of stress, answer this question: What is the physical sensation that you notice when stress starts getting out of hand? For some people, their chest begins to raise, for others their heart begins to pound a little harder, still some experience sweaty palms or forehead. We experience these physical symptoms because the body is getting ready to enter survival mode. It’s a primal fight or flight response. As you actually begin to experience this physical sensation, the first step of the STOP technique is executed—you literally STOP! Recognize what is happening physically and stop what you’re doing. That’s it. Recognition is the first and most important key to start controlling your stress.

Now you progress to the second step in the STOP technique—you need to begin to think about your thoughts and what has just happened. Simply put, why did you just start experiencing physical symptoms? What are you experiencing around you? What were you just thinking about? Why here? Why now? The best time you can discover what is causing and maintaining stress, is when it is actually happening. Consider keeping a stress journal, indicating time of day, what you’re doing, how you’re feeling (hungry, tired, etc.), and what you’re thinking. Track patterns, it’s really quite amazing what you discover.

Now that you’ve identified your thoughts and jotted down some mental or written notes, it’s time to now act! In the STOP technique, this is called the Options stage. What are you now going to do about it? Well, one option is to remain stressed and not do anything about it. Although not a great option, it is certainly something you can do. Some people choose to drop what they’re doing and go for a walk, some make notes in a journal, others call a friend, family member, or a loved one. Build into your repertoire some good ways that you can self-soothe. One important note, however—I strongly recommend that you don’t skip the Thought stage. First understand, then intervene to soothe.

The last stage of the STOP technique is Plan. This is the most basic yet one of the most important stages. All you do is put your option into practice. By doing so you’ve executed your plan. That’s it! By going through these stages of the STOP technique, you can gain perspective about yourself plus pull yourself out of survival mode. It sounds time consuming, but it really isn’t. The more you practice dealing with stress in this manner, the more you’ll find it becomes second nature.

Conclusion

This has been the longest of the blogs that I’ve written to date. It wasn’t originally intended to be this long, but I wanted to make sure that the definition of stress and how it operates on us is clearly understood. Secondly, I had a great desire to offer a few basic yet very effective interventions that can be employed to reduce stress. The topic of stress can be extensive, so I welcome your thoughts on this subject. Here’s to living and not merely surviving!